Increasingly Demand Basic Decorum From Your Interlocutors

And From Yourself

I increasingly demand basic decorum from my interlocutors and from myself: breathing, not interrupting even when hearing criticism, making eye contact, not using the internet, not skipping over what the previous person said, feeling the other person's emotions before responding, and summarizing what someone is saying to their satisfaction before responding, etc. -- none of this kind of 'decorum' however prevents people from expressing their 'crazy' emotions: not interrupting, like at an open mic -- where you wait your turn while a person can express anything they want -- at great length -- is decorum even when the performer is a metal vocalist -- or a meditation teacher -- a reverent silence is the way to listen to each. I have found that those least comfortable with their emotions interrupt first when someone starts expressing emotion -- they also interrupt when particularly emotional music makes them feel uncomfortable, whether because it is intensely passionate, or because it is frighteningly vulnerable in its quietude and awkward silence -- but these same rules which permit one to spend their turn screaming also permit one to spend it mostly on empty space.
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adamgolding.ca